Smurfs For Sale!!

Well it’s worth a shot!!!

I have a collection of 45 Smurfs and 1 cottage in good condition, which I collected in the National Garages promotion in the early 80s, but which I am now very keen to sell, either as a job lot or individually.

Anyone genuinely interested, please message me.  Let me know if you’d like to see my complete list or more detailed information/close-up pictures of individual figures.

I’ve added one or two pics below (click on the images to enlarge them):

The entire group

The Smurf cottage

A close-up of one of my favourites - Angler Smurf

Bobsled Smurf

Sunbather and Swimmer Smurfs

Ice Hockey Smurf

By the way, I have made a conscious decision not to put pressure on myself to get any writing done in the immediate future.  I will definitely return to my manuscript of Majella Bracebridge and short stories for magazines one day, but for now my priority must be selling our property and – eventually – moving house.  I can do without extra pressure on myself.

In a way I feel sad to have made this decision, but also relieved.  The ideas will still be there for me when the time is right for me to pick it up again.  I just can’t think about stories at the moment.  I have to focus on our home and future.  There is no need for me to feel guilty and lazy when people ask me whether I have any stories in the pipeline.  I don’t “owe” writing to anybody.  I need to crack on with my life now.

Hopefully in moving house I will create a pleasant environment more conducive to prolific writing.


Write stuff

This morning I sat down to write a story, something I’m ashamed to say I haven’t done for quite some time.

Well actually, I say ‘write’ a story, I am in fact adapting one already written.  I am going to have a go at expanding A Civil Wedding – which you’ll find on here – for submission to My Weekly magazine.  It presently has 1,000 words; I am going to add an extra 200 to meet the requirements of their Romance category.

I’m afraid I have neglected my scribbling of late.  We’ve been having work done on our home, with a view to (hopefully) selling it soon, and I’ve had other things going on such as going up to London to see the (drag) queens in Priscilla Queen of the Desert, so the writing has taken a back seat.

But I am now hungry to get another piece in print.  I have promised myself that if I sell a short story to a magazine – or alternatively if I sell my collection of Smurfs (another story entirely; feel free to e-mail me if you’d like more info…) – I will spend the money on getting my recently-completed novel The Four Matthews bound into ‘book’ form.  Without such a monetary bonus, I cannot justify the cost of that exercise (this is not about to turn into a begging letter, by the way).  That then gives me an incentive to get my thinking cap on and pen the next masterpiece that will send the readers of My Weekly into a spin.

That particular magazine currently only accept submissions from contributors who have previously had stories accepted by them.  Great news for the likes of me as it narrows down the competition somewhat!!  I am just so grateful they have published me previously.

I must admit I was apprehensive when I sat down to write this morning.  I always am, daft as it sounds; it’s a ‘mind over matter’ issue.  I want to do my best; this pressure to create the most stunning story ever in the history of literature overwhelms me.  I must be a masochist to put myself through it.  If only I didn’t have this compulsion to write, I might take up a more painless hobby – like rock climbing, or syringing my ears with a breadknife.

“Just what this country needs: another cock in a frock on a rock!!”

I just spent a wonderful weekend in London, on a coach trip to see the fabulous musical Priscilla Queen of the Desert at the Palace Theatre in Shaftesbury Avenue.

The show takes us on a lurid journey across the Australian Outback with two flamboyant drag queens – Tick/Mitzi Mitosis (played by Ben Richards, of Footballers Wives fame) and Adam/Felicia Jollygoodfellow (Oliver Thornton) – and a transsexual, Bernadette Bassinger, formerly Ralph (Don Gallagher), in a huge bus which they christen Priscilla.

And stone the flamin’ crows, it also stars Home and Away legend Ray Meagher (who plays Alf Stewart) as Bob, a mechanic who falls for Bernadette.

The 1994 film from which the musical is adapted really brought gay culture into the mainstream, and popularised the cheesy disco hits and gay anthems on its soundtrack, which have become numbers in the show.  They include Go West by the Village People, I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor, Venus by Bananarama, Hot Stuff by Donna Summer and Finally by CeCe Peniston (huh huh, snigger, that word has “penis” in it, snigger).  There is also a medley of hits by the trio’s idol, and the ultimate gay icon these days it seems, Kylie.

It truly is a wonderful show.  I would heartily recommend it – but it’s not for the homophobic!

A highlight came after the show when we hung around at the stage door and managed to meet the lovely Oliver Thornton, who plays the outrageous Felicia (the role taken by Guy Pearce in the film).  My mum took a photo of my friend Ros and me with Oliver – but managed to cut me off!!!  Cheers Mum!  So you’ll have to take my word for it that I was there.

We had an ace time in London, also managing to “see the sights” on an open-top bus tour, which took in Nelson’s Column, the Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, St Paul’s Cathedral, Tower Bridge, Buckingham Palace, etc, etc.

I was unashamedly excited to see these huge and intricately designed iconic buildings “in the flesh,” so to speak, after being accustomed to them being backdrops on the news.  If unfamiliar with London geography, you tend to imagine these attractions are miles apart, but in fact they are in relatively close proximity.

I find coach trips tiring, though.  I couldn’t do them on a regular basis like some of my friends do.  I certainly couldn’t do a coach holiday; I wouldn’t want to be on and off a bus for a week or fortnight.  Two days was enough for me.  Anything longer and I’d started to get frustrated and claustrophobic; the need to “stretch my legs” would drive me mad.

Perhaps I need to hire a bus like Priscilla?

Here are a few piccies from the weekend (you can click on them to enlarge):

This is me and my friend Ros outside the theatre


The iconic stiletto


Big Ben


Animals in War memorial in Park Lane